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The Cruise - with
Jason Dee
Monday thru Thursday we drive Dublin home and wrap up your workday
with loads of brand new music first, entertainment news, features,
text-in agendas, and lots more besides. Organised chaos can and SHOULD
be expected.
Email of the week
We'll bring you a funny email from my Inbox that catches my eye every
week.
If you've and good ones drop me a line.
Signs you've been in Cork too long...
| 1. |
You say "I'm Grand, like"
all the time. |
| 2. |
You think Murphy's is
'savage' |
| 3. |
You think of Murphy's as
if it is the sixth food group. |
| 4. |
You disagreed with 2. -
Murphy's is the FIRST food group and call anyone a 'Langer' if they
claim to the contrary. |
| 5. |
You say "Are you Grand?"
all the time. |
| 6. |
You say "Tis grand, like?"
all the time. |
| 7. |
You say "That'd be grand,
like" all the time. |
| 8. |
You take 4 hours to get
home on a Saturday night and think nothing of it. |
| 9. |
You don't eat anything
cold, uncooked or not resembling meat, bread or potatoes. |
| 10. |
You say "Your man"
followed by 'boiy' all the time. |
| 11. |
You say "Your woman"
followed by 'boiy' all the time. |
| 12. |
You say "Tis grand that
your man asked if I'm grand, like, boiy" all the time. |
| 13. |
You find yourself still
living with family and having dinners cooked for you by someone's
mammy - at Number 30. |
| 14. |
You talk about 'dinners'
and 'mammys'. |
Signs you've been in Dublin too long...
| 1. |
You say 'taeun' when you
mean the city |
| 2. |
You think it is perfectly
normal to pay over EUR4 for a pint. |
| 3. |
Anyone not from Dublin is
a 'wanker'. |
| 4. |
Anyone from north of the
Liffey is a 'Northside wanker'. |
| 5. |
You have no idea where
Ballydehob is. |
| 6. |
You see a member of
Westlife on Grafton Street and find it hard to get excited about it. |
| 7. |
The countryside makes you
nervous. |
| 8. |
Somebody speaks to you on
the DART and you freak out thinking they are a stalker. |
| 9. |
American tourists no
longer annoy you. |
| 10. |
You can't remember the
last time you got up to 30mph in your car in "taeun." |
Signs you've been in Limerick too long...
| 1. |
You have an uncontrolable
urge to steal. |
| 2. |
You keep going on about
how great Limerick and Garryowen are. |
| 3. |
To you, organised crime is
putting petrol in the getaway car. |
| 4. |
You start to cry when you
hear 'Beautiful Munsters'. |
| 5. |
You think anyone from
Limerick has a great sense of humour. |
| 6. |
You think everyone's heard
of Barry Foley |
| 7. |
You think Dubliners are
'soft east coast ashy pets'...until they kick your head in at rugby. |
| 8. |
You deny that it rains all
the time...as you struggle home with the shopping in yet another
torrential downpour. |
Signs you've been in Monaghan too long...
| 1. |
You say 'Sir' all the time
("Howsa goan thur Sir"). |
| 2. |
You say 'shite' all the
time. |
| 3. |
You say 'aye' all the
time. |
| 4. |
You end sentences with 'Hiagh'
i.e. "I'm no goan' thur, Hiagh, it's shite". |
| 5. |
You think McArdles Ale is
great, ignoring the fact it 'tastes of shite Hiagh' |
| 6. |
You get an urge to punch
everybody you meet. |
| 7. |
You punch everybody you
meet. |
| 8. |
You get drunk before,
after and during punching everybody you meet. |
| 9. |
You are incomprehensible
when you speak while trying to punch everyone you meet. |
| 10. |
People seem to be scared
of you when you say where you are from. |
| 11. |
You automatically get the
urge to kill on hearing the words 'Monarachy' or 'England'. |
Signs you've been in Galway too long...
| 1. |
You say "Howsa' goin" all
the time. |
| 2. |
You can't remember a
weekend when a friend from Dublin or Cork wasn't sleeping on your
couch. |
| 3. |
When you meet someone on a
Tuesday afternoon you tell them you haven't been out in ages then
remember that you were chatting to that same person last night in
the Quays. |
| 4. |
You agree with all taxi
drivers on all subjects - why bother gettin thick. |
| 5. |
Unless the taxi driver is
from Mayo. |
| 6. |
Unless, like half the
population living in Galway, you're from Mayo. |
| 7. |
When you say you live in
Galway, people immediately smile and tell you about their wild
weekend in Salthill when they were 16. You nod enthusiastically
about the same venue, despite the fact that you were never there. |
| 8. |
You think that it's
perfectly normal to have 6 buskers (including an Ethopian bagpipe
player), eight street entertainers, 19 Romanian beggers, a krusty
holding some bailing twine tied to a raggedy dog telling fortunes
and 4 separate roadworks all on the one street. |
Signs you've been in Cork too long...
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